Ambitious plans for a floating Dial-a-Bridge along the River Clyde have been released today. This follows recent news that the proposed opening bridge from Yoker to Renfrew may be sunk.

According to information released by the company behind the scheme, “the floating Dial-a-Bridge will bring the utmost convenience to people wanting to cross the river, matched with outstanding 21st century technology, design and engineering.”

The design of the bridge is such that the middle floating section has two large, extendable ramps at either end which can be raised and lowered. This means that the bridge will be able to go to lots of different locations along the river no matter how wide the river is or the tide conditions at the time.

Avril Poisson, the company spokesperson said, “This proposal will transform how people cross the River Clyde and will become a 21st Century icon of engineering in an area steeped in engineering tradition. We are using the very successful Dial-a-Bus concept. People will be able to phone up and the bridge will come to them to let them cross the river. There will also be a Smart phone app and people will be able to raise and lower the ramps from their phones. How amazing is that?”

Critics of the plans have questioned the timing of the annoucement but Avril said, “Having Easter Sunday fall on the 1st April was perfect timing for this announcement. The floating Dial-a-Bridge is a cracking development and really egg-citing times for all involved in urban transport planning and bridge design.”

Local Councillors were unavailable for comment as they were in the middle of an egg-hunt in the City Chambers.

We think that some people will be hopping-mad about this proposal – what do you think???